Punny prompts

Here's a little preface:

I attended a write-in at the Edgewater Workbench in Chicago for Nanowrimo. This little sketch has nothing to do with my nanowrimo story (though I wish it did).

During the session, Jim would toss out word prompts to get us thinking obliquely about our stories and then we'd "race" for ten minutes and try and write as much as we could, it's a surprisingly effective way to snap an unproductive streak and then after you can share constructive thoughts. Anyway, here's what came to mind when Jim gave us the word "Samaratin". 



"...And that's how you slice a man in half, lengthwise."

<muttering from assembled students>

"Yes, remember it's all about leverage and making sure your sword is properly angled. Momentum does most of the work. <points at two meak-looking students> You two, promptly remove the, uhh, dummy."

<The two students drag away the halved body>

"This demonstration should also clear up my standards in regards to pass/fail. You are all dismissed."

<The students all file out of the dojo.>

"Oh, Gumbe. Stay a while."

"Yes sensei."

<Now alone in the room, Sensei and Gumbei stand at the front of the room. scrolls hang on the wall proclaiming the virtues of discipline and strength.>

"Gumbe, i have heard some rather strange news. Rather than combat you've been offering food to your oppoenents. In one sparring match you subdued your opponent in hand to hand combat but then betrayed your training by giving him a foot massage. You won on a technicality when he fell asleep."

"Yes, I aspire to be the best *Samurai-itan* in Japan, sensei."

"Samara-?... Oh, Gumbe!"

<audience laughs>